REMEMBER THIS!

A Promise for Keeps

Session Start: Sat Oct 01 21:38:35 2005
Session Ident: Nicotine^
[21:38] ITS NOT!
[21:39] i KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[21:39] * VanillaSkies looks at you
[21:39] take a GOOD hard look at this stupid guy
[21:39] im not worthy
[21:40] im crap
[21:40] i dont even deserve your look
[21:40] why are you saying all of these?
[21:40] just tell me
[21:40] and stop playing games
[21:40] cause i am crap
[21:40] you are not
[21:40] something else
[21:40] and you tell me straight
[21:40] NOW!
[21:41] what do you want me to tell you?
[21:41] only you can answer that
[21:41] What do you need to tell me other than you are a crap
[21:42] other than you are not worthy eh?
[21:42] i love you so much but i know ill end up hurting you cause we are far away
[21:42] ohh
[21:42] you are giving up?
[21:42] you still dont know me do you?
[21:42] sexually active
[21:42] is that so?
[21:43] like the movie
[21:43] no
[21:43] 40 days and 40 nights eh
[21:43] forget that im sexually active
[21:43] andres
[21:43] im making the effort
[21:43] cathy
[21:43] dont just throw it all away
[21:44] im not trying to throw it all away
[21:44] i sometimes am like this
[21:45] i sometimes i dont feel worthy of anything
[21:45] you are always worth of everything
[21:45] you were created
[21:45] you existed for something
[21:45] the bad part is that your actually telling what i say to Guy
[21:45] with a PURPOSE!
[21:46] u tell everyone about us
[21:46] not everything
[21:46] eversince you told me to shut up
[21:46] but i was hurt with what you said earlier
[21:46] well right now guy is giving you advice about this
[21:46] no
[21:46] we stopped talking
[21:47] come on baby u dont need to lie
[21:47] im dealing this with oyou ALONE
[21:47] IM NOT LYING
[21:47] thats all i said
[21:47] to him
[21:47] stop screaming
[21:47] cuz you upset me
[21:47] as if you lack TRUST
[21:47] i DO lack trust
[21:48] you think its easy for me?
[21:48] i can see now no
[21:48] and im losing my trust as well
[21:48] you actually think having a long distance relationship is easy for me?????????
[21:48] no
[21:48] thats why i want to come over
[21:49] then come over
[21:49] andres you have to help
[21:50] im trying
[21:50] i cannot do this just by myself
[21:50] what do you need?
[21:50] invitation
[21:50] the processing of visa
[21:51] plane ticket
[21:51] so i should just open my wallet and say: voilá
[21:51] no
[21:52] we chip in
[21:52] we?
[21:52] look
[21:52] answer me
[21:52] you want me to be with you or not?
[21:53] you sure are a person who likes to pressure
[21:53] okay forget it
[21:53] if you feel pressured
[21:53] i wont pressure you
[21:53] look
[21:53] im looking
[21:53] i said before
[21:54] im in a depressed mood
[21:54] * VanillaSkies nods
[21:54] can you actully feel it?
[21:54] *actually
[21:54] i can see it
[21:54] nooo
[21:54] dont see it
[21:55] FEEL it
[21:55] i see with my eyes and feel it
[21:55] get it?
[21:55] yes
[21:55] u actually want a person like that?
[21:55] nobody is perfect
[21:55] ive had worse than you
[21:56] so dont think your worse
[21:56] or that you are good for nothing
[21:56] i have my flaws as well
[21:57] i wish i could live near by
[21:57] this is just part of it andres
[21:57] no
[21:57] ?
[21:57] im a depressed person
[21:58] proves you to be human
[21:58] no ur not getting it sweetie
[21:58] nobody ever lived without getting depressed
[21:59] you cannt always be on top
[21:59] why do you love me?
[21:59] because my heart tells me
[21:59] and
[21:59] or should i say "why do you love my text?"
[21:59] not your text
[21:59] you as a person
[22:00] you are scared of me andres?
[22:00] you cannot imagine someone is actually loving you for real?
[22:01] its alright
[22:01] i cant
[22:01] :(
[22:01] maybe when im gone you will realize
[22:01] im dead scared
[22:01] but i will be here
[22:01] when ur gone?
[22:02] i know what i feel
[22:02] and i know what i am getting myself at
[22:02] you are not the only one who is scared
[22:02] explain when ur gone?
[22:02] i cannot explain that andres
[22:02] only time will tell you
[22:03] pls do
[22:03] i have no words
[22:03] find some then
[22:03] but know and remember that I love you
[22:03] and that is all i can say
[22:03] i will be here
[22:03] no baby
[22:03] dont leave me like this
[22:03] explain
[22:04] or at least tell me ur will not do something stupid
[22:04] im still very much here andres
[22:04] listen
[22:04] good
[22:04] dont ever take your life away again
[22:04] and im never gonna take my life away again either
[22:05] it's never worth doing so
[22:05] ok baby
[22:05] i promise
[22:05] dont be a loser again
[22:05] but im pretty sure i lost you today didnt i?
[22:05] no
[22:05] or have i lost you?
[22:05] no
[22:06] alright
[22:06] start praying andres
[22:06] for?
[22:06] pls do
[22:06] talk to God
[22:06] speak to him all your fears and anger
[22:07] your hurt and pain
[22:07] ohh
[22:07] i do that
[22:07] likenow
[22:07] i try to
[22:07] nothing to be ashame or hide
[22:07] He knows all
[22:08] i told myself i m never gonna cry
[22:08] NEVER!
[22:08] and I DIDNT!
[22:08] in those 5 years
[22:08] i rarely did
[22:08] just a bit
[22:08] and when it was over
[22:08] no tears flowed
[22:08] u felt better
[22:08] YES
[22:09] i learned to accept it
[22:09] without regrets
[22:09] even when everyone knows we were planning to get married
[22:09] my boss knew
[22:09] but then it went pfff
[22:09] huh¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡
[22:09] ??????
[22:09] it didnt hurt me
[22:09] but you DO hurt me
[22:10] im sorry i hurt you nilli
[22:10] its just the bad side of me
[22:10] its alright
[22:10] not everytime
[22:10] wil be bed of roses for us
[22:10] i take every pain as a challenge
[22:10] i prefer a simple bed with just you beside me
[22:10] makes my heart fonder
[22:11] * VanillaSkies pinches your side
[22:11] BUT you DO made me feel the pain and hurt
[22:12] and what is like to love so real
[22:12] as well to laugh again...
[22:12] and be afraid
[22:12] im so scared
[22:12] so am i
[22:12] i dont know
[22:12] if we will end up together
[22:12] its ALL up to God
[22:13] indeed
[22:14] sorry about today
[22:14] its okay
[22:14] im here not just for good times
[22:14] but as well for bad and the worse to come
[22:14] will u see me go to bed today?
[22:14] yes
[22:14] of course
[22:15] ive been waiting for you
[22:15] do you love me?
[22:15] of course
[22:15] i DO!
[22:15] im stil on yahoo
[22:15] i do love you 2
[22:15] im logging
[22:15] very much
[22:15] i almost lost you today didnt i?
[22:15] give me a hug
[22:15] * Nicotine^ hugs you
[22:16] * Nicotine^ puts his two fingers on his forehead...and moves them slightly
[22:16] LOL!
[22:16] im stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[22:16] lol
[22:16] I love you andres
[22:16] i love you cathy
[22:17] :)
[22:17] No such nick
Session Close: Sat Oct 01 23:00:45 2005

posted by Skies @ 3:21 PM

letting GO!

Letting go
is just an another way
to say, that I'll always
love you so...

Loving Each Other

UNEXPRESSED love is the greatest cause of our sorrow and regrets.
We usually wait until people have died
to express their value in our lives,
to honor them publicly and
to express our LOVE for them.


-Leo Buscaglia

a thousand death

years have passed,
but everyday still feels
like I'm dying,
as if I died
a thousand death.

New Moon

"Even more, I had never meant to love him.
One thing I truly knew -
knew it in the pit of my stomach,
in the center of my bones,
knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet,
knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone
the power to break you.
I'd been broken beyond repair."
— Stephenie Meyer

Three Years Later....

No more heaven,
the skies gone black...
memories have faded
like the rose that has wilt.
Death is final,
the only way to ease this pain...
it's OVER, it's DONE!

ALL I WANT IS YOU! (Barry Lewis)

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,

The rumble of your water would be my call.

If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow

Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.

If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug

And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.

If you were the love, I'd be the desire.

If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,

And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

NO AIR (Jordin Sparks)

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake

It's 'cause you took my breath away

Losing you is like living in a world with no air

Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave

My heart won't move, it's incomplete

Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

Can't live, can't breathe with no air

It's how I feel whenever you ain't there

It's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me

If you ain't here, I just can't breathe

It's no air, no air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew

Right off the ground to float to you

There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside

You took my breath, but I survived

I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No more

It's no air, no air

[Chorus x2]

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

Recovering...

*Geo wasn't able to finish renovating her blog. She is now on recovery and will take some time before she comes back....

NO POST!

VanillaSkies is RENOVATING her BLOG- "Please bear with me! Thank you!"

The Day I STOP Loving You Is the DAY When I SHUT My Eyes FOREVER......

Isn't it sad that in our lives we're sumtymz forced to say gudbye to the person we love & care about the most for there are reasons we're powerless to explain??becz no matter hw we try to save The good old times & salvage the little feelings we have left all ends jz refuse to meet & the only right thing to do is to break away & let go.To show ur beloved jz hw mch pain u're willing to take--To make him so damn happy!

What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. Its hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go. Its hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and Im alone. There are days I pretend I'm ok.

Nilla sans make-up!

Happy Easter!

Something to reflect:

"The worst regret we can have in life is NOT for the wrong things we did.

But for the RIGHT THINGS we could have done but we never did!"

The-Babe's Good Novel

@The-Babe: Garfield`, I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.

"Even if I am not the light, I can be the spark.
Let us start the change we want to see,
The change that begins with me!"

"One who dares to teach must never cease to learn."

TWO FRIENDS

Two friends were walking
through the desert.
during some point of the
journey,they had an
argument; and one friend
slapped the other one
on the face.

the one who got slapped
was hurt, but without
saying anything,
wrote in the sand:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME ON THE FACE."
They kept on walking,
until they found an oasis,
where they decided
to take a bath
the one who had been
slapped got stuck in the
mire and started drowning,
but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from
the near drowning,
he wrote on a stone:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE ".

The friend who had slapped
and saved his best friend
asked him, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"
The friend replied:"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

"LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE."

They say "IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY
TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM!"


*note: this is NOT my orig. composition but I borrowed this from someone I can't remember anymore who. My apology to the author.

I Will

Who knows how long I've loved you

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime

If you want me to I will

For if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same

Love you forever, and for ever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

And when at last I find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you

To me ah, you know I will

I will

-The Beatles