Classes Are Suspended Due to Covid19

On March 9, 2020. The Department of Education (or was it the president?!?) suspended classes in all levels. That was the beginning of the impending quarantine. While all these was going on,  I was partly glad that school had to close or else I might incure a month's absence and that will require me to process some paper works for my leave. Uncertainities over my work status dragged for several days. Class suspension remains uncertain as well. Nobody knows when school will resume. We still have a month of classes, the finals are yet to be scheduled and last, the graduation program in April 3. But all of these had to be put on hold as the COVID19 continue to spread at a rapid rate. Soon, the whole city where the school located was on top of COVID19 most number of infected. 

    I continue to lost my strength and on the 23rd of March, I collapsed in the kitchen while I was preparing dinner.... It was around six in the evening when I got up from bed. I feel much better when I am lying down than standing or sitting around so I've been spending my time resting on the bed. I walked slowly but no matter how careful I was, I can still feel that I am in no condition to move about. Still I forced myself and went to the kitchen. A thought of being hungry crossed my mind yet, I wasn't really feeling hungry at that time. But I wanted to have Yakisoba. I had the ingredients and took the knife out but I made sure to place it where it won't fall in any case but just then, I felt a strong surge of vertigo and I tried to control it by tilting my head. However, I failed and everything went black.

  When I woke up, I found myself slumped on the kitchen floor as if I have fallen off asleep. "Oh no! this is not good." I immediately thought to myself, "I fainted!" I quickly looked on my hands, arms, body and legs, even felt my neck,face and head for anything that could have been knocked or hurt. But I didn't feel any pain. I checked if there are any bruises and blood. NONE. I am fine. But the fact I know I fainted isn't okay anymore. I checked the floor for anything that may have fallen and scattered because I do not want any food or liquid spilled. Gees, I was even concerned abt.that. But nothing! So, I got up and went to my room but I felt groggy and weak. Panic wants to grip me. I don't even have any idea how long I passed out. I told myself I need to be calm, think quickly and move, I must get help! I managed to get back to my room and grabbed my fone. I asked for help online from a cousin of my colleague at work. Thankful GLOBE telecom have free limited data which enabled me to remain in touch through messenger despite I don't have load.The ambulance and my brother Ed were informed of what happened to me and are on their way. 

    I still have to move a bit more and prepare some things I must bring and while I was moving about, that's when I saw in the kitchen that the food I was preparing were scattered on the floor including the bowl, chopping board and---the KNIFE! Good thing it fell off far from where I slumped down that's why I wasn't hurt or bleeding. I have to thank God and Jesus for this. For protecting and saving me! 

COVID19

In late February 2020, I started to become dizzy while I was at work. I think, my vertigo is acting up since I've been sleeping late for weeks. After three days, I couldn't stand it any longer. The odd feeling on my head is alarming so I went to see our family doctor... Result, my blood pressure was 150/100. My doctor gave me a concern look and advised me to watch what I eat; eat less meat and salty foods. I should take enough rest and sleep. Avoid too much stress. However, with the kind of work environment I have, it's difficult.

So doctor prescribed me some meds. I had to take them daily, one tablet a day for my bp and the other for my vertigo which is 28grams and probably the highest by far from all the vertigo tablets I've taken. My vertigo was born when  I was just in 3rd grade.... after my visit to the doctor, I went back to work on Wednesday but the next day I gave up and decided to go to the ER. My brother E. went with me. Since COVID19 has started to spread in the capital, I had to have us wear mask. It was scary to go inside the hospital. The receiving staff at the ER gave me the usual check-up routine prior admittance. The young doctor who checked on me was a rookie. It was hard talking to them with their face mask on. I had to ask them to write or remove their cover for a bit. That was sort of a mistake! I didn't get to stay long inside and was told that I can go home and to take a rest. My BP seems normal but my headache hasn't subside. I had to hold onto my brother as we left the hospital. I stayed home and felt really sick. I hoped I could go to work by Monday but I sense something is just isnt right bec. I can feel my body is slowing me down. I don't want to take any chance if I  travel long to work. I don't want to be caught too sick and weak on the way while on commute. Besides, there is no guarantee I will be able to get a Grab ride after work even if I am willing to pay that much.  

The days went by and a week passed, that I have been absent at work until it reached 2 weeks. Although, I started to feel a bit better but then, COVID19 has really spread rapidly in the city.

Love, A Gift from God

Love is universal for love comes from God.

Hello World! I'm BACK!!!

It's been a very long hiatus from my world of bloggin' because life has taken a lot of twist and turn in the long span of almost 4 years time. But now I am back and I intend to continue bloggin and ranting about what goes inside my little think tank, my little pounding heart, the grumbling of my stomach and the screaming of the little child in me... and YES! including the traditional wanderings and rants I used to do on how I view things and life in general but this time, I might write more than one honest opinion because of all things there are always two sides: the LOGIC and ILLOGICAL. And as humans are exposed to both good and bad natures or in the force of the negative and positive; we cannot help but try to be neutral as possible. So for my part, I will have two different kinds of perceptive: (1) as a person, (2) as a Deaf person or (1) as an educator and (2) as simply as being the only youngest daughter out of a brood of men who has been trying for all ages, to make something out of a unique situation within the chaos that runs in the family  and... (1) fighting my own good cause, believing in the "Almighty" like I never believed before in my naivette days. (2) Least of all is my "emo" self but who always managed to survive!

But before I begin, I will have to stroll down memory lane, there will be some things I need to check and maybe make a little adjustment or alternation in my past post and those stashed in the draft box. They need to come out of seclusion because the closet is already full! Promise, I will get to it (I AM, already!) so I can start ranting here again... keep posted! Nope, I won't delay and  I will soon be back! :) Once again, welcome myself to the world of bloggin' where everything is possible even the imaginary stuff!!!

REMEMBER THIS!

A Promise for Keeps

Session Start: Sat Oct 01 21:38:35 2005
Session Ident: Nicotine^
[21:38] ITS NOT!
[21:39] i KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[21:39] * VanillaSkies looks at you
[21:39] take a GOOD hard look at this stupid guy
[21:39] im not worthy
[21:40] im crap
[21:40] i dont even deserve your look
[21:40] why are you saying all of these?
[21:40] just tell me
[21:40] and stop playing games
[21:40] cause i am crap
[21:40] you are not
[21:40] something else
[21:40] and you tell me straight
[21:40] NOW!
[21:41] what do you want me to tell you?
[21:41] only you can answer that
[21:41] What do you need to tell me other than you are a crap
[21:42] other than you are not worthy eh?
[21:42] i love you so much but i know ill end up hurting you cause we are far away
[21:42] ohh
[21:42] you are giving up?
[21:42] you still dont know me do you?
[21:42] sexually active
[21:42] is that so?
[21:43] like the movie
[21:43] no
[21:43] 40 days and 40 nights eh
[21:43] forget that im sexually active
[21:43] andres
[21:43] im making the effort
[21:43] cathy
[21:43] dont just throw it all away
[21:44] im not trying to throw it all away
[21:44] i sometimes am like this
[21:45] i sometimes i dont feel worthy of anything
[21:45] you are always worth of everything
[21:45] you were created
[21:45] you existed for something
[21:45] the bad part is that your actually telling what i say to Guy
[21:45] with a PURPOSE!
[21:46] u tell everyone about us
[21:46] not everything
[21:46] eversince you told me to shut up
[21:46] but i was hurt with what you said earlier
[21:46] well right now guy is giving you advice about this
[21:46] no
[21:46] we stopped talking
[21:47] come on baby u dont need to lie
[21:47] im dealing this with oyou ALONE
[21:47] IM NOT LYING
[21:47] thats all i said
[21:47] to him
[21:47] stop screaming
[21:47] cuz you upset me
[21:47] as if you lack TRUST
[21:47] i DO lack trust
[21:48] you think its easy for me?
[21:48] i can see now no
[21:48] and im losing my trust as well
[21:48] you actually think having a long distance relationship is easy for me?????????
[21:48] no
[21:48] thats why i want to come over
[21:49] then come over
[21:49] andres you have to help
[21:50] im trying
[21:50] i cannot do this just by myself
[21:50] what do you need?
[21:50] invitation
[21:50] the processing of visa
[21:51] plane ticket
[21:51] so i should just open my wallet and say: voilá
[21:51] no
[21:52] we chip in
[21:52] we?
[21:52] look
[21:52] answer me
[21:52] you want me to be with you or not?
[21:53] you sure are a person who likes to pressure
[21:53] okay forget it
[21:53] if you feel pressured
[21:53] i wont pressure you
[21:53] look
[21:53] im looking
[21:53] i said before
[21:54] im in a depressed mood
[21:54] * VanillaSkies nods
[21:54] can you actully feel it?
[21:54] *actually
[21:54] i can see it
[21:54] nooo
[21:54] dont see it
[21:55] FEEL it
[21:55] i see with my eyes and feel it
[21:55] get it?
[21:55] yes
[21:55] u actually want a person like that?
[21:55] nobody is perfect
[21:55] ive had worse than you
[21:56] so dont think your worse
[21:56] or that you are good for nothing
[21:56] i have my flaws as well
[21:57] i wish i could live near by
[21:57] this is just part of it andres
[21:57] no
[21:57] ?
[21:57] im a depressed person
[21:58] proves you to be human
[21:58] no ur not getting it sweetie
[21:58] nobody ever lived without getting depressed
[21:59] you cannt always be on top
[21:59] why do you love me?
[21:59] because my heart tells me
[21:59] and
[21:59] or should i say "why do you love my text?"
[21:59] not your text
[21:59] you as a person
[22:00] you are scared of me andres?
[22:00] you cannot imagine someone is actually loving you for real?
[22:01] its alright
[22:01] i cant
[22:01] :(
[22:01] maybe when im gone you will realize
[22:01] im dead scared
[22:01] but i will be here
[22:01] when ur gone?
[22:02] i know what i feel
[22:02] and i know what i am getting myself at
[22:02] you are not the only one who is scared
[22:02] explain when ur gone?
[22:02] i cannot explain that andres
[22:02] only time will tell you
[22:03] pls do
[22:03] i have no words
[22:03] find some then
[22:03] but know and remember that I love you
[22:03] and that is all i can say
[22:03] i will be here
[22:03] no baby
[22:03] dont leave me like this
[22:03] explain
[22:04] or at least tell me ur will not do something stupid
[22:04] im still very much here andres
[22:04] listen
[22:04] good
[22:04] dont ever take your life away again
[22:04] and im never gonna take my life away again either
[22:05] it's never worth doing so
[22:05] ok baby
[22:05] i promise
[22:05] dont be a loser again
[22:05] but im pretty sure i lost you today didnt i?
[22:05] no
[22:05] or have i lost you?
[22:05] no
[22:06] alright
[22:06] start praying andres
[22:06] for?
[22:06] pls do
[22:06] talk to God
[22:06] speak to him all your fears and anger
[22:07] your hurt and pain
[22:07] ohh
[22:07] i do that
[22:07] likenow
[22:07] i try to
[22:07] nothing to be ashame or hide
[22:07] He knows all
[22:08] i told myself i m never gonna cry
[22:08] NEVER!
[22:08] and I DIDNT!
[22:08] in those 5 years
[22:08] i rarely did
[22:08] just a bit
[22:08] and when it was over
[22:08] no tears flowed
[22:08] u felt better
[22:08] YES
[22:09] i learned to accept it
[22:09] without regrets
[22:09] even when everyone knows we were planning to get married
[22:09] my boss knew
[22:09] but then it went pfff
[22:09] huh¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡
[22:09] ??????
[22:09] it didnt hurt me
[22:09] but you DO hurt me
[22:10] im sorry i hurt you nilli
[22:10] its just the bad side of me
[22:10] its alright
[22:10] not everytime
[22:10] wil be bed of roses for us
[22:10] i take every pain as a challenge
[22:10] i prefer a simple bed with just you beside me
[22:10] makes my heart fonder
[22:11] * VanillaSkies pinches your side
[22:11] BUT you DO made me feel the pain and hurt
[22:12] and what is like to love so real
[22:12] as well to laugh again...
[22:12] and be afraid
[22:12] im so scared
[22:12] so am i
[22:12] i dont know
[22:12] if we will end up together
[22:12] its ALL up to God
[22:13] indeed
[22:14] sorry about today
[22:14] its okay
[22:14] im here not just for good times
[22:14] but as well for bad and the worse to come
[22:14] will u see me go to bed today?
[22:14] yes
[22:14] of course
[22:15] ive been waiting for you
[22:15] do you love me?
[22:15] of course
[22:15] i DO!
[22:15] im stil on yahoo
[22:15] i do love you 2
[22:15] im logging
[22:15] very much
[22:15] i almost lost you today didnt i?
[22:15] give me a hug
[22:15] * Nicotine^ hugs you
[22:16] * Nicotine^ puts his two fingers on his forehead...and moves them slightly
[22:16] LOL!
[22:16] im stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[22:16] lol
[22:16] I love you andres
[22:16] i love you cathy
[22:17] :)
[22:17] No such nick
Session Close: Sat Oct 01 23:00:45 2005

posted by Skies @ 3:21 PM

letting GO!

Letting go
is just an another way
to say, that I'll always
love you so...

Loving Each Other

UNEXPRESSED love is the greatest cause of our sorrow and regrets.
We usually wait until people have died
to express their value in our lives,
to honor them publicly and
to express our LOVE for them.


-Leo Buscaglia

a thousand death

years have passed,
but everyday still feels
like I'm dying,
as if I died
a thousand death.

New Moon

"Even more, I had never meant to love him.
One thing I truly knew -
knew it in the pit of my stomach,
in the center of my bones,
knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet,
knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone
the power to break you.
I'd been broken beyond repair."
— Stephenie Meyer

Three Years Later....

No more heaven,
the skies gone black...
memories have faded
like the rose that has wilt.
Death is final,
the only way to ease this pain...
it's OVER, it's DONE!

ALL I WANT IS YOU! (Barry Lewis)

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,

The rumble of your water would be my call.

If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow

Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.

If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug

And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.

If you were the love, I'd be the desire.

If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,

And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

NO AIR (Jordin Sparks)

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake

It's 'cause you took my breath away

Losing you is like living in a world with no air

Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave

My heart won't move, it's incomplete

Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

Can't live, can't breathe with no air

It's how I feel whenever you ain't there

It's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me

If you ain't here, I just can't breathe

It's no air, no air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew

Right off the ground to float to you

There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside

You took my breath, but I survived

I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No more

It's no air, no air

[Chorus x2]

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

Recovering...

*Geo wasn't able to finish renovating her blog. She is now on recovery and will take some time before she comes back....

NO POST!

VanillaSkies is RENOVATING her BLOG- "Please bear with me! Thank you!"

The Day I STOP Loving You Is the DAY When I SHUT My Eyes FOREVER......

Isn't it sad that in our lives we're sumtymz forced to say gudbye to the person we love & care about the most for there are reasons we're powerless to explain??becz no matter hw we try to save The good old times & salvage the little feelings we have left all ends jz refuse to meet & the only right thing to do is to break away & let go.To show ur beloved jz hw mch pain u're willing to take--To make him so damn happy!

What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. Its hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go. Its hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and Im alone. There are days I pretend I'm ok.

Nilla sans make-up!

Happy Easter!

Something to reflect:

"The worst regret we can have in life is NOT for the wrong things we did.

But for the RIGHT THINGS we could have done but we never did!"

The-Babe's Good Novel

@The-Babe: Garfield`, I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.