Thursday, November 10, 2005

You Have To Be Deaf To Understand

What's it like to hear a hand?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to be a small child,
in a school, in a room void of sound,
with a teacher that talks and talks and talks;
and when she does come around to you,
she expects you to know what she said?
You have to be deaf to understand.
Or the teacher thinks that to make you smart,
You must first learn how to talk with your voice,
so mumbo-jumbo with hands on your face,
for hours and hours without patience or end
until out comes a faint resembling sound?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to be curious,
To thrist for knowledge you can call your own,
With an inner desire that's set on fire
and ask a brother, sister and friend
who looks in answer and says "Nevermind"?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to stand in a corner
Thought there's nothing you've done really wrong,
Other than to try to make use of your hands
To a silent to communicate
A thought that comes to your mind all at once?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to be shouted at
When one thinks that will help you hear,
or misunderstood a words of a friend
who is trying to make a joke clear
and you don't understand because he's failed?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to be laughed in the face
When you try to repeat what is said;
and you find the words were misread-
and you want to cry out "Please help me friend?"
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's like to have to depend
upon one who can hear to phone a friend;
or place a call to a business firm
And be forced to share what is personal,
and then find that your message wasn't made clear?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to be deaf and alone
in the company of those who can hear
And you only guess as you go along,
For no one is there with a helping hand,
as you try to keep up with the words and song?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like in the road of life
To meet a stranger who opens his mouth
and speaks out a line at a rapid pace,
and you can't understand the look in his face
Because its new and you're lost in the race?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to comprehend
some nimble fingers that paint the scene
and make you smile and feel serene
with the "spoken word" of a moving hand
That makes you part of the world at large?
You have to be deaf to understand.
What's it like to hear a hand?
Yes, you have to be deaf to understand.

Major Components of Signs

Guidelines:

* General area for Signing Space is between the top of the head until just above the waist.

* The visual center of the signing space is the nose-mouth area.

* Size of hand movements differ depending on the position in the Signing Space and the number of people        being signed to.

* For symmetry, signs made near the center of the Signing Space often use a single hand, while signs made
   further away tend to use both hands.

* Have a dominant signing hand.

* Signs related in meaning are usually related in information.

* Always speak when signing, also use facial expressions and body movements, sometimes even
   exaggerating them to get your message across.

* Have a smooth flow of hand movements when signing affixes and word endings for tense, person, etc...

* The past tense sign is not strictly done over the shoulder.

* Raising the eyebrows and freezing the hands in the air, or holding the last position of a sign are techniques
   used to ask questions in sign.

* Shaking the head from side to side while signing a negative statement aids in clarifying the tone of the
   message.

* Signed word should be in reference to its location/direction.

* Refer to the person by pointing in his/her direction or sign and point.

* Orient the directionof the sign by motioning with your body, eye and hand. Show the direction of the
   action. When you are the receiver, begin the sign in front of you and move towards yourself.

* Move your hands to show the size of an object accordingly.

* Signs can also vary in intensity, or be modified in their execution.


Sources:
Signing Exact English, by G.Gustason and E. Zawolkow and
The Joy of Signing, by L.L.Riekelhof

Sign Language

Sign language
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

A sign language (also signed language) is a language which uses manual communication instead of sound to convey meaning - simultaneously combining handshapes, orientation and movement of the hands, arms or body, and facial expressions to fluidly express a speaker's thoughts. Sign languages develop in deaf communities, which can include interpreters and friends and families of deaf people as well as people who are deaf or hearing-impaired themselves.
When people using different signed languages meet communication is significantly easier than when people of different spoken languages meet. Sign language in this respect gives access to an international deaf community.
However, contrary to popular belief, sign language is not universal. Wherever communities of deaf people exist, sign languages develop, but as with spoken languages, these vary from region to region. They are not based on the spoken language in the country of origin; in fact their complex spatial grammars are markedly different. However, various signed "modes" of spoken languages have been developed, such as Signed English and Walpiri Sign Language. Hundreds of sign languages are in use around the world and are at the core of local Deaf cultures.

Sign Language Variations
AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE (ASL) - the language typically used among deaf particularly the adults and is similar to Filipino Sign Language (FSL). A language in and of itself, with its own grammar and vocabulary. ASL is different from English and has a genetic relationship to French Sign Language.
PIDGIN SIGN ENGLISH (PSE) - the generic term for naturally occuring varieties which incorporate traditional ASL signs, some newer and contrived signs, and fingerspelling in flexible grammatical order. Popular nomenclature for PSE includes Sign English, Siglish, CASE and Ameslish. Although CASE and same category of the continuum.
CONCEPTUAL ACCURATE SIGNED ENGLISH (CASE) - the communication style characterized by the incorporations of traditional ASL signs, some newer signs, some contrived signs and finger spelling, along with speech and speech reading, signed in English grammatical order with minimal changes, and English is mounted exactly as spoken in the original English that is interpreted. Signs are used with an attempt to retain the meaning from ASL rather than English, so that "right" would be signed different ways depending on its meaning.
AMESLISH - a term applied differently by different people. Ameslish will refer to ASL signing with minimal incorporation of English, more fingerspelling than is typically used in ASL, and some deviation from ASL idiomatic use.

MANUALLY CODED ENGLISH (MCE) - the generic term for contrived systems for encoding english in manual form. These systems of visual English are attempts to precisely represent the English language, both its grammar and vocabulary, through the means of speech and speechreading, and the use of a combination of traditional signs, newer signs, contrived signs and fingerspelling. Contrived signs are generally are based to some degree on ASL/FSL signs. Signs are usually selected on a one sign one word basis, deviating in some significant ways from the meaning of the original ASL signs. Sound and spelling are generally the deciding factors in sign selections, rather than meaning. Thus, all meanings of the word "right" would be signed the same, while write would be signed differently. Signs are placed in English order with signs to represent English grammatical forms, such as suffixes and prefixes. MCE was devised as a means of teaching English to youngsters. Examples of MCE are SEE1, SEE2, LOVE, Manual English and Signed English.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Myths and Facts About Deaf People

Myths about Deaf People

People who are deaf are broken or inferior
Deafness is a terrible thing
Most people who are deaf want to be 'normal' (hearing)
People who are deaf need special education and cannot live a 'normal' life
All people who are deaf can read lips (or Braille)
People who are deaf should be greatful for what is given to them by mainstream society
People who are deaf generally cannot think in abstracts
People who are deaf have other 'heightened' senses to compensate for their hearing loss
People who are deaf are rude
People who are deaf are lazy
People who are deaf that have good speech or can lip-read are smarter than those who cannot

Facts About People who are Deaf

People who are deaf often differ in language preference and in other preferences or skills (e.g. Up-reading, communication mode, educational background, etc.)
Some people who are deaf deal regularly with prejudice
Being deaf does not affect intelligence
Many people who are deaf can and do become 'successful'
People who are deaf have a rich, unique culture different than that of mainstream society, including:
language (visual spatial, rules of grammar and syntax, contextual, examples, high detail, lists, explicit.)
folklore, jokes, poetry, art, theatre
community (relationships a priority, schools for the deaf, goals of community ... )

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Tagged Again!

This is the second time I've been tagged by sngleguy and as usual this is over due. (LOL!)

Here are the following questions:
1) Is it polite to stare? (Who the heck comes up with these questions anyway?)
2) What are your 7 favorite songs? (Oh yeah, a very intriguing question for someone who cannot hear, LOL!).
Answers:
1. Depends. It's okay to stare as long you are not making the person uncomfortable. I stare at people when I'm dining out and that's very normal while you are waiting for your food, your bill or for the waiter to serve you. I also stare when I am sitting at the park. I stare at couples, family and kids. I stare at my young students when I'm angry or simply amused at their antics when they want to go out and they know perfectly well they cannot as it is time for class (evil grins!).
2. Since I am a deaf I had to categorize this last question which I also find intriguing, hahaha! I don't know if guy mean to ask OPM or the international songs so I had to make three categories as follows:
A. When I could still hear music and songs:
1. One Day in Your Life (Michael Jackson)- as a kid I was fascinated by his very high pitched voice and to think he is only a boy. I used to hear this song a lot over the radio and I like it very much!
2. Loving You (I don't know who sang this eh!)- "winter summer and spring time too...Loooving you... La la la.... " these were some of the lines in the song and its very beautiful 'cuz it doesn't matter what the weather maybe or whether seasons fades away the person will still be loving you... I later found out when I was already in college in 1995 that the singer was a woman who died of throat cancer---no wonder she have a very powerful voice eh!
3. Good Morning Yesterday (Paul Anka)- I love this song and again, I used to hear this over the radio being played by radio stations every morning until in the afternoon. It's very beautiful too and I remember when Tina Revilla sang this together with Eddie Mercado in a special t.v. show. I was simply awed that Tina can actualy sing so well. She actually sound like the back up singer in Paul Anka's album.
4. Put Your Head On My Shoulder (Leif Garret)- When I heard this song on television in channel 9 "Return Engagement" I quickly fell in love with it and what more Leif Garret was at that time the most sentational matinee idol in the US of A. So who won't fall for this?
5. I Write the Song (Barry Manilow)- This was very popular among teens. I used to sing this even long after I lost my hearing. I was in college and a member of the Liturgical choir. I was a staff member, sorta their secretary. Everytime I start belting this all of them would follow suit hence, we would all end up singing it together.
6. Just the Way You Are (Billy Joel)- I like this song because it's kinda sentimental like the song in #5.
7. If I Ever I See You Again (Heck, who sang this?)- I saw the video flick of this song and I find it touching yet funny cuz they added a twist of comedy over the sentimentality of the song. I remember watching and listening with my eldest brother and we both guffgawed when the guy was finally released from the rehab, it was his wife turn to go nuts!
B. Original PINOY Music
1. Ngayon at Kailanman (Basil Valdez)- this is already a classic song and it's very beautiful too. It's about love almost like the english version of Now and Forever but not really... xP
2. Bato sa Buhangin (Cinderella)- This was my very first favorite Pinoy song.
3. Hindi Ko Malimutan (BoyFriends)- Baduy but maganda!
4.Pumapatak Na Naman Ang Ulan/Batam Bata Ka Pa (APO Hiking Society)- I remember hearing the song "Pumapatak ang Ulan" and my grandmother was sitting beside me. She said, "A very timely song with moral lessons on what NOT to do during rainy days. " LOL!-she was referring to my brothers! "Batam Bata Ka Pa" on the other hand says a lot on how teenagers view the world.
5. Saringgola Ni Pepe (Celeste Legaspi) - I like this song, it is actaully a protest song against the Marcos dictatorship.
6. Kung Ako Iiwan Mo/Panakip Butas ( Hadji Alejandro)- I like this song during the time of Hadji Alejandro's singing career. I later heard him sing these in my godmother's wedding and I truly liked his voice and songs. Fits also for wedding, hehehe!
7. Memories/Miss Universe (Rico Jay Puno)- ekkkkk!!!! LOL! He was the hearthrob of the 70's I heard and saw him sang those song and boy, he was great!!!
C. In My Silent World:(Now that I can no longer hear my disability did not hamper my likeness on music. I still find a way to like and enjoy songs by reading the lyrics. So here are my favorites)
1. Thank You Love (Song from a movie of the same title)- It's beautiful and timely in my present lovelife (gik gik gik!).
2. Day by Day/ I Won't Last A Day Without You (Carpenters)- This has been my favorite song eversince in college. My roomie and I used to sing this during rainy days especially when there is a typhoon, we would sing this at the top of our lungs--- LOL!
3. Gone Too Soon (Michael Jackson)- My best friend, Aileen gave me a copy of this song during our emotional farewell after graduation in college. I like the lyrics very much!
4. Because You Loved Me (Celine Dion)- I discovered this lyrics during our program in school. It's beautiful and sentimental, from within the heart.
5. You Are My Song (Regine Velasquez)- i love it, i love it!!!
6. Forever and For Always (Shaina Twain)- Soooo beautiful!!!!! I saw Andres listening to this song and I clicked to see the lyrics. Ohh WOW! terrific!
7. Candles in the Wind/England Rose (Elton John) - sad but I like this one too!
There! Now I'm gonna tag at least 3 people: Jim Paredes (YESSSS!!!!!)
Maryet (again? yes, again!)
Enlighten

Friday, November 04, 2005

TAGGED!

I've been tagged again, arrrggg!!!! Now how am I suppose to write my blog entry about my hilarious aunt?!? geez! I guess I have to put that aside for today and do that taggy thingies that I owe guy. He is the one who tagged me and it's been long over due. I have been actually pondering about the first time he tagged me but I just couldnt find the time to copy the taglines and paste it. I had other things on my mind back then but of course, within my head lurks that tag thing!hehehe!
So lemme do the first time he tagged me. Hmmm... it must be somewhere in his blog, I just have to dig deeper... Here it is:

7 Things I plan to do before I die:
1. Go on world tour in Europe and America- visit Spain (watch the good looking matadors kill bulls at the arena), Italy (see the leaning tower of Pizza), Transylvania in Romania (find out if there's any heir left by Dracula---there must be!!!), Sweden(meet Karl and explore the capital), England (watch Kipper play Ice Hockey live), Belgium (just drop by), Macedonna (meet the General TS), Germany (See if I can still get a piece of that "WALL"), Rome (find out if Nostradamus prophecy about the new Pope will come true), Holland (see the tulips farm which I missed during the autumn when I went there--aw, wrong timing!), Great Britain (see the Legendary King Arthur's birth place and Stone Henge), Portugal (just see whatever there is to see), Pakistan (meet Brat-boy), Norway (its near Sweden so why not?!), Poland (it's the country where women's lib. is very strong), Canada (meet my cousins), California (meet my godfather Whatanut and others from hometown channels including my brother and other relatives), and finally settle in MEXICO (do I need to elaborate on this? I guess NOT!-mwuahahaha!!!!).
2. Get married, have 2 kids, a persian pet cat and a dog.
3. Learn to drive a hybrid pick up down the freeways without getting caught for over speeding or for being a minor(LOL!).
4. Do three sports: scuba diving in the depths of the sea, parachuting on top of the highlands in Europe and finish my belt color in martial arts (I was a drop out!).
5. Have a grand reunions at a 5 star hotel with the entire clan of my family,mom's side and my classmates& friends back in College.(I will tell them how much I love them all!--aww, waaaaa!!!)
6. Do something for a GOOD CAUSE!
7. GO CARPE DIEM so I can Die Another Day!!!!


7 Things I can do:
1. Smile even when I am actually truly boiling inside. Let people become paranoid from thinking if I am pleased or not. (I sure do love to see the baffled look on their face, it's AMUSING!)
2. Laugh at myself and at others' stupidness in any given situation be it tough times or painful trying times(Well, jeez! life is already too short to take things so seriously and be more miserable!).
3. Eat pastries, Vanilla classic ice cream, bacon, hotdogs, ham, chicken nuggets, sushi, dumplings and drink cold milk on a single day then go on a complete 1week diet.
4. Forgive anyone who crossed me (Especially when they're down and out-Amen.)
5. Cook for my entire family on Christmas and New Year!
6. Talk with my hands.
7. Teach deaf people from 2 years to old age (cool!).


7 Things I cannot do:
1. Drive a car without denting it.
2. Change a light bulb.
3. Play tennis, basketball and volleyball.
4. Stay away from junk foods and salty snacks.
5. Be dang serious!!!(Yeah, go ahead get MAD).
6. Pay attention at meetings.
7. Being less noisy!


7 Things that attract me to another person:
1. Faith in God
2. Inner qualities (un positives ha!)
3. Sense of humor
4. Outer qualities: Eyes,Lips and Fangs
5. Neatness
6. Intelligence
7. Having a good command of English and Sign Language


7 Celebrity crushes:
1. Brad Pitt (Whatta guy and body!)
2.Freddie Mercury(He rocks!)
3.Dracula (the good looking ones ONLY!)
4. Keanu Reeves
5. Ben Affleck (too bad he is married!)
6. George Cloney(One of the sexiest man alive!)
7. Van Helsing (nyahahahaha!)


7 Things I say the most:
1. Aw!
2. Oh Man!
3. Dang!
4. Geez!
5. JackAss!!!
6. Sheesh!!
7. Ew!

7 bloggers I am tagging:
1. Maryet
2. Brat-Boy
3. Eric Davidson
4. Madster
5. Broken_Saint
6. Zh~*
7. Brittney

There! Whew!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Scented Candles (Part II)

Yesterday, I was still posting my blog when my Dad arrived to pick me up. I was caught unaware and he asked why I haven't dressed. I looked at the time on the wall clock, it says 10:45am. I thought they gonna pick me up at 12noon!?! Aw! I haven't took a bath, sheesh! I quickly took a shower and got dressed. When I got out of the shower my half-sister was there. Ohh, my brothers were probably getting impatient again. Well, let them wait cuz we agreed 12noon and they came way too early. We boarded my brother's mini contraptor and off we went. When we got to the cementary it was expected to see some relatives already there. The usual "beso-beso" and "kamustahans."
I started lighting the scented candles first offering to my mom and next to my grandmother and the others. As per our custom, we touch each grave and say "Hi!" or we either call them "Lola, Mommy, Lolo, Uncle Boy!" True to my words, I did not cry this time. It felt so good looking at my mom's grave looking at each letter inscribed in her tomb stone. I was smiling.... We usually stay in the cementary from morning until in the afternoon or sometimes until in the evening. We wait until all relatives who we call the "regulars" have arrived and paid their respect. It was muddy in the cementary that day due to rains. I was glad I wore my old pair of sneakers but not so lucky for my eldest brother's gf (hehehe!). Since we always stay for a very long period of time, we brought foods and drinks. My aunt Guy (My mom's sister) saw me and she called me to shake my hand, she said:"Wow! board exam passer ka na!" "BLOWOUT!" was the cry of others who heard it. Aw! was all I could say. So the taunts among my cousins and brothers started and the laughters went on as they all started talking, telling stories and catching up on each other's lives. It's always like this every year. Talking, eating and laughters all the time. I am amaze sometimes at my family and my mom's family and other relatives' ability to crack jokes and laugh at almost any situation no matter if its a pissing off situation. They are truly the typical Filipinos who can laugh at themselves no matter how stupid they are getting. Oh my, we have no shame! I could only watch them talk and laugh or try to lip read and catch the humor. My best friend among my cousins is out of the country so she wasn't there to translate to me what was the talk all about. I soon got bored and I started playing with the melting candles. I rolled them into a ball and you bet my ass, soon in no time at all my half-sister, my sister-in-laws and cousins followed. We all started rolling melted candles into a ball. We all preferred the scented candles I bought than the cheap ones (LOL!).
We stood in line making melted candles into a ball. It's as thought we are some kind of factory workers and we took a break when we got hungry and our hands were so greasy and tired. It made me remember the old times again. When we were kids we used to do these things every time we are there. It was like the old times indeed except were grown up. Some of my cousins are married and have kids. I watched my aunts and uncles including my Dad and eldest brother. All of them are old now.Their face seems worn out from over the years life has brought them...HAHAHAHA! everyone's laughter broke my reverie and I asked my sister to translate what was so funny. My aunt Guy is in her usual tale but this time she is telling her encounter with the immigrants in Canada and everybody are teasing her to speak English (LOL!). When she got to Canada and the immigrations asked if she can speak English her reply was: "No, I cannot talk in English!" She actually said that in PLAIN ENGLISH! so, everyone laughed out loud. We like it very much when aunt Guy would tell us story because it is usually always funny and amusing or sometimes she can really send you rolling on the floor laughting out loud.
We started packing up to leave home around 5pm. The men helped each other folding the big tent while us the women started cutting the flowers and spreading them on the tombs. We do this because some strangers might steal the flowers and sell it so we always have to cut everything before we leave. We said our prayers twice to our departed relatives before we left and bid each other goodbyes with the usual "beso-beso" again. Only to find out we are all heading on the same direction. Oh my see, how very silly we Filipinos are, we say our goodbyes and make beso more than once or twice. So I guess that's where I get my famous goodbyes attitude. I keep coming back even after I said my goodbye (hahaha!). Next time I will write more about my aunt Guy. ;D

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Scented Candles

The good old days for me was when the world was young and I believed that the moon is no bigger than my thumb finger yet everything around me is big. Hardly was there any day that I missed being the child I was nor the fun and laughter that in my young mind has been etched forever in my memories...Memories of my happy childhood where I see my mom so full of life!
Where I see her face... her wonderful smiles... I hear her voice... beautiful and resounding with hope and peace... I feel her touch... comforting and her very presence amidst all the madness of the world.... endearing with love....
When I could prove that my thumb was bigger than the moon...death was never welcome... we never had to go to the cementary as there was nobody else to mourn... When I turned 5 I saw my life revolving full of laughter and comfort... I had my family to love and protect me....death was never welcome...
However, when my grandmother, my mom's mother died of heart attack the world was filled with sadness and the tears came.... I remember seeing my mother cried....how her heart broke and how my father comforted her...my brothers on the other hand stood quietly in the corners watching with a sad expression in their eyes. I was too young then, to even realize the pain life can also bring...
Hence, every once a year, every November 1st we light candles and offer flowers in my grandmother's tomb. I used to see and hear everyone talking to the lone grave. I never had the chance to pay my last respect to my grandmother during her wake and burial. She died in the states and was flown by the US Army plane back to the Philippines in a bronze casket. She had come to live in the US with my grandfather who is a Veteran of World War II. They lived there in bliss but in their last remains they were never together... In the succeeding years that came and the moon has proved me wrong... death has invited itself within our home... as I grew older...the cementary started to fill up and before I knew it.... I was lightening scented candles for my mom.... What she once used to do and what I had heard from her once is now passed to me... "Ayan, Ima binili ko sa'yo yang kandila. Para sa'yo lang yan!" I remember very clearly what she said. I wasn't a deaf yet then there I was lightening scented candles offering it to all of them. I should only offer for two and let the rest of those living take responsibility for others in the grave. But within me the silent little voice said "FOR ALL!" You can give the two dearest in your heart something far special.
Four years ago, I was asked to bring candles and hence every year it has been my special tasks. I buy them ALL scented candles knowing how special they all used to be in my life... In our lives...we hold special memories....within all of us we hold them dear believing they never left this world.... Eversince the day I lit a candle on my mom's grave it was always an ordeal for me to visit her. I cannot stop crying every time we started to talk to her openly telling her how life had been for us since she was gone...every happiness and hardship we had.... I had to look away and wipe my tears. For 23 years the tears continue to fall from my eyes. That's how I miss her... that's how much it hurts that we both missed being together while I was growing... Another year had to come and go---24 years in all had to pass by before I started finding some comfort through bloggings. It's also only then I had expressed openly the pain inside of each memories...
"...your Mom would have wanted you to live as normally as possible and not think too much about her passing away but rather, keep the memory of her when she was alive and full of life."
These were the very comforting words I got from an online friend. Who made me change my view of my mom's death. Yes, he is right about that. My mom would rather want me to keep her memories those of when she was alive and full of life....In my dreams, I knew how much she loved me. She knew how much I wanted to be with her and that I would go and follow her wherever she may go. But she doesn't want me to be with her. She wanted to me to go on living because there were other things my life has to live for. She wants me to have a life and to see more there is to see. I also remember she wanted me to look after my Dad...
Tooday is November 1st of the year 2005. It's her birthday, 25 years ago since she passed away and I had bought 8 SPECIAL scented candles. I'm going to light them today on her tomb stone. The cementary has been renovated entirely new and grand. Now she is up on the wall save for my grandmother's tomb. Everyone of us will also be up on that wall when we pass away. Everyone will be cremated except for those who do not wish to be cremated... Everyone talked about this openly without the pain of dying nor the fear of death. And I had openly expressed I will be needing two space cuz my name is very long and I don't want it to be cut short therefore, I need two entire space of tomb stone on that wall when I die. TWACK! my aunt hits me slightly on the back of my head after hearing me said those things. My cousins giggled and I shhhied them or else they might wake the dead up!
November 1st also had a sign every year in every relationship that I am in. This signs are only between me and my mom. (smiles at the memory). How come it's only now that I come to notice her warnings and signs.... Mom, I know... I'm going to lit you another scented candles and they are specially for you on your birthday. I'm gonna say a silent prayer in each scented candles that I will lit and I will tell you who are those people I have met in each path that I had choosen to take and there will be smiles beginning today. I promise you! No more tears and it wont be out of wanting to turn into the unemotionally unmoved human self that I have once become. However, mom it is for the way I am starting to take life the way it is and move on, no matter who come and go or how painful when these people ceases from loving me and being with me.... Thank you for all the wonderful memories and for giving me life...
Once again, Mommy happy birthday and may you find peace and happiness where ever you are!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Catching Up!

It's been quite a while and I have not written any entry here in my blog cuz I was trying to catch up with my life. I missed a lot for three days you see... I stopped living for three days and it was hell. Missing work for three days is not a joke. My work just piled up one after another and I just don't have the heart to do anything. My mind had been going on point blank in the past few weeks when I started was missng out.
Why was I missing my life? you may ask....oh well, it will sound so silly for me now to say the reasons why. However, back then it means so much to me. My reasoning at that time was so reasonable and doesn't sound so silly at all. I have feelings and once again I have let this emotional stuff creep in me. I have let it get on the most part of my human self without even a mere thought of what this little voice is telling me at the back of my mind. We all know that the heart and mind sometimes don't get along pretty well. Each of them has their own way of taking over the human self. It's not easy to make them dwell together as one. Hardly does it happen when your mind and heart goes together. So, in those three days that I stopped living, it was all the emotional self I was... I got so angry and hurt over someone I thought was cheating on me. How can I even think such? When in fact we had a pretty nice time together before things went "kaput." Being online really sucks! Yesh, all of these happened because of a connection that sucks. Now I know what you are starting to think. I'm stupid, I know. I know, I know! I messed my life over the net. Messed three days of it. BUT! Understand, those feelings were real. They were within from a scorned heart. And to deal with such feelings, especially if you happen to be a woman with such temper like me--- ohh well!!! tu tut!
I had a convention for the next two weeks at that time, exam papers to make, narrative reports to revise, checklist for my class, a special report for one of my elementary class, papers to check and sort out in my class record for my college students plus I need to do consultation and my young tutee to attend too. To top them all I have to deal with my bad emotional self. It's like Im having one of those terrible PMS (LOL!). The thing I hate the most about those three days I was in hell was I couldn't get offline and I just couldn't function normally without seeing my laptop screen connected. I stayed awake most of the time too, talking to someone close to me online was such a comfort but not enough to ease my troubled self. I only got over when I was given the order from the top commanding officer (hehehe!). I was ordered off or else I am banned. Part of the training as a new OP in the channel is how "WE" describe it. I need a good spanking the General of the Army told me not once but several times. I am happy to say that's how our friendship begun. Although, after I got over those dreadful three days off, we didn't get to talk much but we know something between the two of us. That something...is just BEWTEEN US! (ahem!). Something personal we shared about ourselves to help me out. Sometimes you need somebody to talk to and ease away that dreary gloom within you. I needed to get back on my feet. "Generals and Majors" helped.
So, I had to plug off and start living. However, I didn't start until the next day but I did took the General's advice to go out and pick myself up. I had to deal things that I messed and I was called in the administrative office the first day I reported back to work. I wasn't surprised. I had anticipated this 'cuz I messed up by missing work. But hell I didn't care at that time and then, I DO SO after I got sober. I had to pick up a lot of pile and clean up. First the exam papers, class records, my lessons and tutee. I also need to fix my classroom and my students work I had to compile cuz its gonna be part of their portifolio by the end of the school year and I haven't done so much as recitation and practical test. These little ones needs more than that yet I knew experience is always the BEST teacher for them. They will remember if they had so much fun and I bet it will stay in them for the rest of their life... in college, I owe to see my other superior and consult with my papers for my presentation. It's not a joke that I have to make a presentation cuz that will be participated by a lot of people and it's a grand thing 'cuz it will be held in a hotel. What scares me is how I would deal questions afterwards. I wonder if I am good enough to answer their questions. I haven't done much and I just couldn't! I had all these ideas up on my mind. I just need to put them in power point prog. but maybe I still haven't got the hang to do so. I need timing until I was told I had to work with someone and get it all done. I did worked with that guy and I was the top commanding officer that night (pls read my blog entry: Hell Night). We finalize things and I went home late unescorted...
I was able to submit my class record and exam papers in my morning job, one day late. I talked to the school Principal regarding my absence and another superior regarding my morning class. I was given an ultimatum that should I fail to report for the third time, I will lost that class. I swore it will not happen again beside, the class has only one meeting left and they can be evaluated. The superior was rather pleased at this so I got away with it. Next, I gave my students reviews and compiled their work and gave more reviews. I went CARPE DIEM! While in my afternoon college job, I taught my students well and took my time cuz rushing wont work on these kids. I still have a lot of paper to check and record for them but the first thing was their midterm and reviews. I didn't missed a thing here cuz missing is not likely acceptable cuz I'm new in this job. I almost got late several times. Just almost but never late! I was always capable to show a two side of myself in here. I may be boiling inside myself yet I'm actually smiling on the outside. I just don't know sometimes how I would do with my class here cuz they are not as motivated as my first students. I am lenient but don't test my patience is what I told them during one of our meetings. I was kindda disappointed and frustrated at one point when such simple task was failed to be done....Oh! I'm not gonna talk so much about that issue here cuz I want to write that entry in another blog. My point here is a different issue. I just don't know whether I am making sense here though( grins).
Anyway, the big day came and the convention started(October 24). I was still in a mess when that day came cuz I was not able to give my time to my other tutee. I did my best though to inform the parents but there was no reply(don't blame me then!). The morning of the convention was great cuz my lecture wont start until the 2nd run which was the next day. I was supportive to Migs. It was fun and food was good. I met a lot of old people I knew back in my younger days as a little girl. This is a goverment gatherings of teachers mind you so you get to see a lot of old timers who are now big old timer! (hahaha!). What do I mean by that?!? I mean old teachers who were once just a mere teacher and are now in higher positions with the Department of Education---GOOD PAY! HIGHER STATUS QUO!
I was beautiful that day, I remember (vain!). However, before the end of the day I was told something I felt bad about. I was told I couldn't use the laptop and my team mate would have to work with someone else cuz after my lecture my superior's lecture would follow and the laptop was reserved for her use. She wanted to prepare her stuff while I go yacketing. Sheesh! Make my day! I'm on my own.... finally the day of my presentation came. I was late but my part won't be until 10:20am. I was clad in black and white had my pearl on for a touch of elegance(vain!). I had to double check my work last night and had to work almost late again with that guy. I was so tense. There was tension in the air and I notice how much the college had supported me. I mean supported? Financially I was given support but no moral support and I felt awfully bad at that. I had to sign my entire lecture and not give a damn at everyone listening and watching me. I was giving a lecture in a preliminary session. I focused on the person voicing over for me and there was my good friend Tess who was suppose to be my interpreter should I started to talk. But my voice failed me. I concentrated in talking with my hands....Finally my lecture was over and I saw their face...NO MORAL SUPPORT! I feel like I don't deserve my plaque and cash. I couldn't even smile at the camera and I wanted to cry. I did cry and the day was ruined! I was told to calm down I'll get over these. It's just my sole turn to be in hot spot cuz it's my leture day. I don't know how I will get over it. When I got home I told my bf about it... In a way I kinda felt better. My bf had other things on his mind and I sorta forgot my misery and he told me I don't have to face it but I need to deal with it. And I did! So, the next and last day at the convention seemed much better. Yep, I also found out the reason behind things that made me feel bad. It wasn't really for lack of moral support but they were all rather upset at some talks during the lectures. There were important issues my superiors wanted to address to the crowds but they were stopped. It was beyond their control cuz the goverment runs their own monopoly. We will have our silent way of running our own business.
Everything ended well and I feel so much better. I moved on... I still had two more days to work and get things to the end. There's still the exam for my subject, my tutee and a program in my morning job. I had to compute grades and have my students sign their consultation record in college and then I am done. I had to do another over time last Friday but this time I made sure I had someone to go home with me. I was safe! but I forgot to get my pay check (lol!). Semestrial break start after Saturday and still I didn't get my pay check. I don't need so much cash cuz I had enough in my wallet from the convention. There's no worries financially... But, I miss my boyfriend. His internet connection still sucks and I TRULY HATE IT!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Hell Night

I went home late last Thrusday night because I had to finish a program that I need to present for the up coming 6th National Convention on Deaf Education. I worked with a colleague that night and he was trully patient to all my dictations and demands. I was lording over the lab that night cuz the job needs to be really get done.Everyone was cooperative and did their job well. The only thing that was so bothersome was after we got things over I faced the time and realized how late it is---9pm! My colleague looked at me in the eyes as if to say "NINE PM!!!!" I tried to read the look of his expression but I said, "the trains closes at 11pm anyway, so it's safe and no worries." But we both looked kinda worried and unsure. We continued and did the last double check thingies before signing off the programs and computers. When we were done I headed out for the train station only to be greeted by a beautiful lady who was talking on her fone. The woman told me the staion is closed. "WHAT?" Geez, how do I go home? I saw the same worried look on the woman's face. Aw! I'm not alone in this predicment. I ran back to the college to ask for help. "Is there anyone who will be passing the same way as I?" all eyes looked at me. "I need to get to the next train station, at least!" Still nobody answered and one by one they averted their eyes and continued doing their own stuff. Geez! everybody are too tired tonight eh! I went out of the lab and ran back to the train station to double check. Hell! CLOSED.
What will I do now? I called a friend and asked for advice...I was told to hire a taxi instead of boarding a jeep or an FX. However, luckily I saw another colleague and I went with her aboard an FX. She told me where to drop and how to get to the next train station. I dropped out in Quiapo near the end of Mendoza street. I had to walk up the overpass. It was dark. I passed several couple walking the same way. I was walking alone in that dark passage way clad in a long dress with two slits on the sides, revealing my legs and I had on my rings and earings. Ohh my!!! what a way to be... I'm putting myself infront of danger. When I got at the other side of the road I discovered that I had to walk a much darker alley. CRIPES! I had to walk and run at the same time until I could no longer take the darkness so I had to run all the way until I reached safety.I sighed in relief. Finally, I'm in haven. I'm in the next train station and thus can go home safe and calm. But boy, I was pretty close a while back then... I was really scared cuz that place is notorious for thieves and maniacs. Nobody is safe there at night but I guess I am an exception. Thank God for my Angels!!!
I got home safe from physical harm but I wasn't safe from being tagged as PARANOID online. Shees! after telling my friend what happened and how I managed to escape that harrowing experience, I didn't expected to be called such as that word. Hmm?!? Do I expect some sympathy? erm...No, I didn't expect anything but I further didn't expect to be tagged like that either. Me, P-A-R-A-N-O-I-D?!? Well, I pondered for a minute and yes, I may sound like one. I am paranoid BUT online cuz I have all sort of virus protection aside from having my firewalls on and other preventive measures sometimes to an extent that it may cause damage to my pc. I scan as much as possible as I can and update both automatically and manually. I scan before and after going online. That's too much! However, me being paranoid in the outside world, where reality bites, I doubt I am paranoid to that extent. I was caught off guard that night. I didn't expect the station to be closed earlier than 9:30pm. I was wearing a nice dress and some jewelries because I didn't planned to go home so late and get stranded. I got scared for the reason I wasn't prepared and I was left alone to resolve my own situation in the middle of the night. Where I was that night is not even a pleasant place to be caught off guard. I was in the midst of the city of Manila. Where I dropped out was even worse! Being a woman and alone in the middle of the night is DANGEROUS in that place. So who won't be scared? I swore I would never work so late like that again. Never would I put myself at risk like that. That's not being paranoid. I am being cautious, I always am in everything. Experience has taught me a lot. I can't even walk around the small alley or corners of Cubao simply because I know the place isn't safe so why would I thread that path and risk myself? "Nobody is safe from thieves." My online friend told me after I told him that my 18th birthday necklace was snatched from me in Cubao. So, you see the place is not safe.... Nobody would enter a room where outside the door its says HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE! I stay within the malls whenever I go to Cubao and I stay within the safety areas of the trains. I don't thread below the road where its so chaotic and crawded. I experienced boarding a crammed bus and had my wallet stolen. That's traumatic cuz I haven't even paid the bus when my wallet was stolen. How do I explain that to the bus conductor who usually would think it's just another drama of passengers who comes abroad without any money. Well... those experiences taught me not to throw cautions in the wind.
I'm not stupid and definetely not paranoid either. I know what is good and bad for myself and therefore I know what measures to take and not to do. Life is like that, either you throw caution to the wind and run yourself at risk or better yet be safe and stay within safety lines to prevent further harm. People should know the rules and abide if they know what is good for them!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Love You Forever

I woke up this morning feeling all the love that I never seem to have ever felt before. It's such a wonderful feeling....of loving and being loved in return....It's so wonderful, knowing I have someone I love and who loves me back as much as I do.... Andres, I love you!
So whatever happened to your connection again?!? LOL!
Well, the last time my love and I had been talking together online was three nights ago. We've been having the night we will always remember :) Then suddenly he went kaput! That scared the shit out of me! I went KABOOM! Wrote an email screaming my anger and four letter word disappointment then went to the channel where we usually meet. I cried on a friend online and said goodbye. Next, I deleted my blogs and sulked in a room and cried my heart out. In short, it was a post KATRINA disaster!!! Geez! I missed work and its my third day! I went back to the channel and called a dear friend and poured my heart but of course, I still kept some private details---AHEM! I got a series of lecture and I was told I needed a good spanking. Aw! yeah, I do! "GO CARPE DEIM!!! " he said. But I only started my day yesterday and those things happened Sunday night. I truly had to leave my pc and shut all my messengers. I needed to catch up on the life I have neglected for a few days. I wasn't beeing in my usual self lately. I truly BLEW! Been sick bad! And...I just couldn't help missing my love...I think of him constantly and I felt this deep sadness the moment I left my pc and didn't logged in even I knew he was online. I tried sleep and drain all the sadness in my deepest slumber but maybe I was truly born a light sleeper cuz I woke up feeling disturbed. I knew he was looking and waiting for me...So after I got home last night, I went online under the powerful invisibility mode. That did the trick and presto! I saw him logged in ;D hehehehe! We met in another channel server and he had no idea I changed my nick so he was surprised to find out who I am under an assumed new nick. We talked and what a relief he wasnt so angry but he was more understanding this time....more calmer and gentler, hmmm...?!?! unbelievable! or has he turned into the person I used to be and me into the terrible person he is?!? (evil grins!). Are we both picking up each other's personality? HAHAHAHA! funny, what love can do ;D
He went kaput again but I wasnt worried or angry. I just let it be knowing so much now he will be back and that he loves me as much as I do and he WON'T cheat! Sounds like i'm gaining some TRUST now eh! ;D
Andres
I love yah FOREVER!!!
Be SAFE
and
GO CARPE DIEM!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

-Christina Georgina Rosetti

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Forever And For Always

( Shania Twain Lyrics for the song Forever And For Always ...I downloaded the MP3 song here.)

In your arms I can still feel the way you
want me when you hold me
I can still hear the words you whispered
when you told me
I can stay right here forever in your arms


And there ain't no way
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way
and there ain't not how
I'll never see that day...


Chorus:
'Cause I'm keeping you
forever and for always
We will be together all of our day
Wanna wake up every
morning to your sweet face always


Mmmm, baby
In your heart I can still hear
a beat for every time you kiss me
And when we're apart,
I know how much you miss me
I can feel your love for me in your heart


And there ain't no way
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't now way
and there ain't no how
I'll never see that day...


Repeat Chorus

(I wanna wake up every morning)

In your eyes (I can still see
the look of the one) I can still see
the look of the one who really loves me
(I can still feel the way that you want)
The one who wouldn't put anything
else in the world above me
(I can still see love for me) I can
still see love for me in your eyes
(I still see the love)


And there ain't no way
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way
and there ain't no how
I'll never see that day...

Repeat Chorus (2x)


I'm keeping you forever and for always
I'm in your arms....

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Every Morning

nicotine_ (12:01:12 AM): for me your a rose petal
nicotine_ (12:01:49 AM): listen to me...
nicotine_ (12:01:58 AM): every morning
nicotine_ (12:02:10 AM): between my arms i find you
nicotine_ (12:02:12 AM): every morning
nicotine_ (12:02:29 AM): i feel ur skin that i caress and i cant hide that i want to awake in you
nicotine_ (12:02:39 AM): every morning
nicotine_ (12:02:55 AM): between a sheet and the other...there is a miracle that breathes on my side
nicotine_ (12:03:04 AM): and it makes me so happy that you own my love
nicotine_huerta (12:03:17 AM): and like that im lost in you...
nicotine_ (12:03:20 AM): the light of our love
nicotine_ (12:03:34 AM): the song that we make when we make love
nicotine_ (12:03:48 AM): every morning
nicotine_ (12:04:05 AM): ill teach myself to love you like this is our first time
nicotine_ (12:04:19 AM): and i will never forget the beautiful thing that is to love you
nicotine_ (12:04:42 AM): every morning...until we die

How Do I Love Thee…

Let me count the ways…I love thee…because you are:


Jolly
Outgoing
Serious
Enthusiastic

Adorable
Nice
Desirable
Realistic
Energetic
Sensitive

Humble
Unique
Elegant
Romantic
Talented
Admirable

Valorous
Artistic
Loveable
Terrific
Idealistic
Earthbound
Redundantly Royale!



But most of all, I love you because you are YOU!
and you make me happy.
You light my world and bring laughter.
You made me feel what is it like to love so real,
You made me cry and feel the way I do....
I love you FOREVER because... you made me feel LOVED!

Those Days

As short and swift
ever days could be
How will I know, what those days
could meant to me
Of seeing, talking and being near you
Had endlessly disturb my heart
Those days that had just passed
I wish in my thoughts,
they last
For those days are for me
to treasure and to cherrish
So, that those days of our sweet
and sad memories
I won't miss!

-Ochie Ramos
-cfba

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Damdamin

Ewan ko,
Hindi ko maintindihan
Kung bakit ganito
Damdamin ko'y ang gulo,
Hindi ko alam kung ano.

Para bang mayroon akong hinahanap-hanap
Ngunit kung tutuusin ay wala.
Ako'y nalilito,kinakabhang parang halong may pangamba't tuwa,

Sa loob-loob ko
Pakiramdam ko'y tila may gustong sumabog.
Nais ko sanang ilabas anuman itong gumugulo;
Ngunit ewan ko kung ano ito.
Hindi ko man lang mailabas,
Kahit anong pilit ko.
Hindi ko maibulas
Para bang init sa loob
Mahirap mailabas,
Hindi ko maihayag

Damdamin ko sa'yo.
Pag-ibig ba ito?

-cfba

Monday, October 10, 2005

A Hymn To Life

What is life?
This eternal seed
This consciousness of every individual...
I, becoming what I am
A question too.
Shall I pass to nothingness?
Shall my words be forgotten like me
Blown forever by the wind?
As it looks now, we pass away
Into eternal silence...
As in sleep.
We exist now
We sleep once
We awake forever more.


*1989

A Friend

At different times
Everybody fails and cries
And feels embrassed and anxious
and lonely and insecure
And needs warmth
From someone called a friend.

*Ochie & Princess (1988)

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Time to Time

From time to time,
I think of you
and from the time I think of you
I know my heart loves you
But only from time to time
'Cuz from time to time too,
I try not to think of you.
From time to time then,
My heart tries not to love you.
It tries to forget
and erase the pain you inflicted
Because, your love has no soul.
It is only time to time
you would love me then
afterwards you would hold back!
So, I came to this sense that
love could be a time to time
pleasure and pain.
However, I would choose the time wherein
I would forever stop thinking of you.


*CFBA (Nov. 2, 1992)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Diary of Georgette

12 March 2005
Saturday.
Bedroom.

In my dreams…
Are dreams real?
Are they to really come true?


I walked with someone else on the day of my wedding. I was afraid I would not get in church. And the funny thing is, instead of riding a car I walked to church with the man I was about to marry. We were almost running, we were hurrying and we were holding hands. We were worried to be late because people were waiting for us. It was a huge church and it was grand! My wedding gown was simple and my aunt Meren was there, she commented on my skirt. It didn’t look good to me but nevertheless it was a wedding skirt and I was getting married. The man I was to marry talked to a priest and he went towards the door to open it and face all the people who were waiting outside for the ceremony to begin when I looked and called him…. I wanted to thank him for making it with me on time. We held hands together and I wanted to thank him again for helping me or rather making us get to church for our wedding. I was too afraid if we wont get there, I’d never get married… I called his name---"Alex."

In my dreams… there’s always someone else with whom I am loved yet I cannot see his face and I don’t know who he is… Lewi used to tell me she saw two people at my back and she also told me she had seen my daughter and she doesn’t look like Xander…

In my dreams,
Do dreams really come true?
Like when you say, I love you so.....

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Last Sun Rays

I woke up in the morning
after a restful slumber
and saw the sun shine on my window.
I knew that this day,
there will be a lot of things
ahead of me
But I'm prepared to face them
with all the energies I have preserved
During my restful slumber.


On my way to school
The sun continued to shine bright
Coarsing up to its own usual place,
Up in the Skies.

My thoughts began to wonder
On and on, as I went about my usual
normal and hectic day.

There are times
When my thoughts wandered
to what we had and I thought of you....
It made me smile and stop to remember
after a while, I'd thought:
"So, much of the reminiscene,
No use thinking of you.
It's just a mere tick of the clock!"
I have to get through with my day
as much as I can.
So, I can have another restful slumber.


On my way home
I walked alone with an easy pace
Knowing the day is thorough and done, alas!
I've given the best I can
And done what was expected of me....


The sun is turning pale
Though it still continue to shine.
Shining on me,
Giving me it's last grace of sun rays.

I sat on a bench
and watched the sun
as it goes down beneath
the glittering sea.
It misted my eyes
and I thought of you again.
I feel like looking back in vain
hoping maybe someday, somewhere
in the world, there might be a time.
A time for us to be together.

However, that will all never come
to it's own fulfillment.
Because, I know
as the sun goes down and me
to my restful slumber
I know,
The sun will never shine
on me again
for this is the last sun rays.



-cfba

Darkness


I see your face in the dark
Fresh, taking and countenance.
Like a dream,
I see your face shining in the dark
Looking a little meager
And you are just starring at me
Making me smile and glad
to see you again...


I see your face gleaming in the dark
You're alone, looking at me
I called upon your name
But no sound came from my lips
My voice blown forever by the wind.
I looked at you
You remain still
no words or sign.
A look of disappointment came to me
You stood motionless in the dark
Starring out endlessly on me...


I see your face in the dark
longing and solemn
I long to cares your face---
But suddenly, blackness started engulfing you
I see you,
your eyes slowly dimning
As darkness took you away...


Memories started flashing in the dark
I stop to remember
you're not here anymore.


It's getting cold in the dark
Yet I remain
standing... alone...
Wondering why???
What could have gone wrong?

It's getting lonely in the dark
And I'm starting to feel so empty,
cold and alone.
I hate the dark
Not because it vanishes you
But because darkness reminds me
of my emptiness
loneliness
coldness
pain
and
you.



-cfba

When You Share LOVE


Love is not what it really is
when it is not shared.
It needs care and trust
to show you really do.
It needs fulfillment
of expressed sensitive emotions.
It helps when there is
a bothered emotion.
When you share love
You express what is in you
of what you feel and do.
It reveals your true feelings
of loving and caring.
It makes someone at ease
When he is with you.


Sunday, October 02, 2005

The Return

Beyond the vastness
beyond the depths
Within the blackness
the hunt begins

Horror, bloody chaos
engage the hostilies
eminent danger ensues.


They meet, a quandary,
What was once hunted
is now the prey,
What was once slain,
is now reborn.


Like the Phoenix rising
from the ashes.
The prophecy is fulfilled.
There is only one!


-cfba
*The rebirth of #SpeakEasy

Saturday, October 01, 2005

FRIENDS FOR ALL SEASONS

Friends for all seasons
thats what we are
Sharing yesterday's lost
and tomorrow's gain
Together we built,
friendship that's true!
In the eyes of God
and in the eyes of man.
We sailed together life's road edges,
We crossed mountains and climbed down the hills.
Yet here we are, together still
Our lives bonded together
in friendship gear
All of us will never forget
All the good things we shared and kept
For all of us are friends for all seasons
Rain or shine we'll never decline.

-cfba

*For Twi, SINS, Guy, Mom, Nico, Jhen, Dymps, Fall, Heureka, Darkyboo(Dylan),

Aesu, Paul, Seba, Maryet, PistNorty, Ultra, Brat,
TooSmooth, Flammen, Boss, RedDrgn, Rasheed, Puric313,

                             }{apper,Sparky,J'lo,Chey & Brit of #SpeakEasy