Monday, January 04, 2021

Your BAKIT will turn into BUTI NA LANG! YOU DESERVE BETTER.

 Today, I saw a friend posted someone's story in FB. There were followers or other people who have read the story and left comments. One girl who came across the original story before , followed it up yesterday. She wanted to see what have happened to the girl in the sad story. You see, the vlog was about a girl being dumped after having a very long 8 years of relationship with her bf. The boyfriend left her after realizing that in the end, he still long and love his ex-girlfriend. So, he went back to his ex and got married. Now they have a child. The dumped girl felt so hurt and practically wasted 8 years of her life. She was robbed of those eight years!

I read the entire comment posted by Jhena Beduya Felipe. She said:



    Reading this has made me look back in my longest relationship of more than a decade. Yes, MORE THAN A DECADE! My dutch boyfriend who I will name as Eric., and I met online when Rocketmail, Hotmail, and chatting were at the height of its era. Wala pang FB, Twitter and Instagram that time kasi wala pang digicam or yung Friendster page. Puro email pa lang and mga chat groups ang kinalolokohan ng mga students.

     I was in college that time and it was 1998. Time din when I was moving on after my first" legal" bf (in meaning open yung relationship namin, hindi tago and our family knows we're going steady) dumped me for my classmate, of  whom he had a long time crush since high school. But this story is not about the guy who dumped me first. This is about Eric who was also a college student that time but I was a year ahead of him. We met by chatting in MIRC chat using Undernet server... Fast forward, friendship bloomed between us through the internet. I graduated college and started working when Eric came to visit the Philippines. A year later, I went to visit Europe in the Netherlands. From there our relationship became OFFICIAL after meeting our family and friends in person and seeing each other's own culture and country. Our relationship wasn't smooth to begin with because of culture difference plus language barrier. But because Eric was kind and very patient our relationship lasted a long time. He was very supportive and understanding. He wasn't selfish and you would think he is PERFECT. But there's a problem with him. An emotinal and behavioral factors. I will not elaborate but going back to the main point of our relationship,  ours, although wasn't smooth from the start, but we have withstand alot of things and remained together. I've seen what Eric is really like but that didn't change how I feel. I've been in my BEST and WORST times. Eric remain by my side and accepted me. He was the answer to me when I asked God in college after my heart was broken, to please give me someone who will accept me for whoever and whatever I am (that's what I thought!). I though he would never leave and that in the end no matter we've been on and off or if we parted ways, we will get back if we truly love each other. Eric thinks and feels the same. We actually broke up several times, remained friends, kept in touch and got back together.

In 2013 after my Dad passed away, Eric helped me through my grieving period despite being far away from me. He remain supportive and I though that when I get back to my feet, we could finally be together. I was hoping and banking at those thoughts. But we lost touch when I started working back as a teacher. I cant remember anymore when was it exactly when he told me he was seeing someone else already. But I remember planning to go visit him I was preparing my papers and own expenses. But Eric refused me to visit him and that's when I found out the truth. I felt cheated! betrayed! and yes, I felt I WASTED time and my life! Ang daming panahon na nasayang dahil hindi ako nakipag relationship sa iba kahit marami nanligaw. I went on dates with other people during the time we broke up but none of them worked. I always find myself back with Eric and ganun din siya. So akala ko kami na talaga but lingid pala sa akin nakikipag kita na siya sa iba. So, it explains why hindi na siya sumusulat at madalang na din makipag usap bago kami tuluyan nawalan ng contact. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, masakit yun! But why I didn't actually feel anything painful or hurt. I didn't even cry. Perhaps I was in shock. It took me a very long time before it really dawned on me that, WALA NA KAMI! For a time ganun na ganun yung nafeel ko at pinagdadaanan yung mga sinabi ni Jhenna. "You are HOLDING someone's wife or husband HOSTAGE!"

Sana ALL! yung mga taong without any plans of marrying them or building a family with  or spending the rest of your life with them, LET THEM GO! Now it makes sense too, with Andres (another ex of mine whom I loved for 5 years before ako sumuko!). And I am more thankful now with him that he broke up with me and let me go. Kasi yung dating puro BAKIT sa relationship ko sa kanya naging BUTI NA LANG, I DESERVE BETTER! Kay Andres ganun na ganun. But kay Eric na mas matagal ang naging pagsasama namin, sadly it ended in this way na mas pangit but, I know even though I may have wasted half of my life staying with him that long, SALAMAT pa rin! That we did not end up together. Sabi nga ng pinsan ko, may dahilan bakit hindi kayo. Right, love is not just based on feelings, its also a choice; a COMMITMENT. In God's PERCET TIME darating yung para sa'yo.