The Chambers of Secrets: You Call This---TRUST?!?

How do you establish trust?
Trust on somebody you love may not be hard but for some its not easy either. For others it takes years to build because trust don't happen overnight. However, in a relationship TRUST must be there the moment you accept someone in your life.Without it, love will never grow. Things will never work out. I have loved someone. And sad to say, I've come to see there is no trust on his part. Jealousy kills. I may have some of it but not to the extent I would hurt the one I love. I am saying this simply because I have TRUST. There's no need for me to be insecure about. However, to the one I love... sad to say he misjudged me. Accused me of things I never did. Said things that trully hurts. What happened you may ask...

I was online as usual since I don't have much work yesterday. I stayed online waiting for my online bf to appear. I knew he would be online at around 3pm or 4pm and right on he did show up fresh from his first few days of working out in the gym. It was good to see him as usual and he was glad to see me. We had several laughs and some serious talk until finally he said its 5am and time for him to sleep. We went offline and I logged in #SpeakEasy since I have a time difference and I wanted to talk to some of our other friends online.... I was feeling this big sadness when my bf and I had to say goodnight. I dunno, but I truly feel awfully sad when we parted, not that we had a quarrel. No, we didn't fight but I just feels sad, I am starting to miss him so much and how I wish he could stay longer or be online as often as possible.... I was still in mirc and there were several people in the channel where my bf and I hang out. I don't know and don't care about the rest who were there. I pmed one of our friend and as I was talking to her how I feel about this BIG sadness in me she suddenly said that my bf is online in SE. I was so happy I jested: "I tot you were sleeping!" and I typed tickling him. I typed the initial letter of his nick and pressed the tab key without knowing there was someone else with the same initial so thus instead of his name another nick appeared. PRESTO! he exploded! KABOOM! he left and I pmed him saying hey! He answered back saying: Tickle someone else! Whoa! he got me wrong and I explained to him but he refused to listen and went back in the channel and asked our friend to tell him what was it all about and that I should not lie. Geez! It was madness! We tried to explain to him what happen but he went offline. I end up telling our confused friend what happened. There were others in the channel who saw the fiasco and they could only sigh and tell me to just wait until he cools down and he will prolly listen.

However, he continued to behave pissed off, refusing to talk with me. Golly! what an outburts!!!!It took several friends to convince him to listen to what truly happened and when he finally calmed down he talked to me on pm but he didnt wanna stay long prolly ashame how he had behave. But I assured him it's okay and I know that he just misunderstood things... But thinking over the whole incident that took weeks to resolve had left me breaking in 5 ways. It made me think, if I should still want to go on in this relationship with that kind of person. Come to think of it, he used to tell me that I should TRUST him and what he says are all TRUE. That he is HONEST and REAL both online and in REAL LIFE! He tells me to listen for an explanation FIRST before exploding. 'Cuz he doesnt see any of those in me. WHAT?!? Well, well... look who was talking back then...Obviously, there was no trust in the way he behaved and he ate everything he said 'cuz he doesn't even look at himself before he preach. Sigh! I ought to tell him this---"Andres Huerta, you should practice to yourself what you preach!"

If you love someone, even though you might be hurting it is still BEST that you LISTEN and hear what one has to say. It's better that all sides are heard 'cuz somehow something IMPORTANT that you prolly missed out is bound to come up and clarify things. Just a small typo, shouldnt be the ruin of what you have built. Maybe it takes years to built and a minute to make it all crumble apart. However, if you have trust then the foundation will be solid. I hope what we are building together will be a solid foundation base not only on love for each other but on TRUST as well. I truly hope and pray to God, Nicotine^.

10:26pm

September 21, 2005